WTF is Awakening?

WTF is awakening? It’s not a glow-up. It’s not peace and clarity. It’s collapse. In this episode, I’m breaking down what awakening actually feels like—not the aesthetic version, but the one that rips your old life apart. We go deep into the real process: identity death, nervous system chaos, ancient mythology, brain science, and the messy truth of transformation. I lay out the stages of awakening, why the descent is necessary, and how this entire process is coded into you—spiritually, biologically, cosmically.

If you’ve been feeling like you’re losing your mind lately… maybe you’re right on track.

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🎙 Your awakening isn’t coming. It’s here. Hit play.

🎙 EPISODE 3: WHAT THE F*CK IS AWAKENING?

[OPENING]
So… what the fuck is awakening?
Because let me be clear—this isn’t about crystals or clarity or suddenly becoming a better version of yourself.
This is about burning everything down.
Awakening isn’t about finding your purpose.
It’s about realizing the version of you that needed a purpose in the first place was a lie.
It doesn’t feel like elevation.
It feels like collapse.
You don’t become someone new.
You lose everything you were never meant to be.

And yeah, sure, eventually you rise.
Eventually, there’s light.
But first?
You die.
Not physically.
Psychologically.
Energetically.
Existentially.
And you can’t shortcut it.
Because the old self doesn’t let go without a fight.
And it’s not just you.
It’s not random.
It’s not chaos.
It’s ancient.
It’s coded into your body.
It’s in your lineage, your mythology, your nervous system.
And it always follows the same pattern:
Death → Descent → Rebirth.

[SECTION 1 — WHAT IS AWAKENING? WHY SHOULD YOU CARE?]
Awakening is not a moment. It’s a process.
It doesn’t happen all at once. It doesn’t feel like clarity. It feels like everything falling apart so that something real can finally emerge.
This isn’t about adding more light. It’s about burning away everything false.
So if your life feels like it’s breaking down?

That’s not you doing something wrong. That’s your system waking up.

Your brain doesn’t see awakening as growth.
It sees it as a threat.
🧠 The Reticular Activating System filters reality based on who you believe you are.
🌀 The Polyvagal Nervous System is wired for familiarity—even if the familiar is suffering.
Which means: your body will literally fight to keep you in your old life, your old identity, your old pain.
That’s why this hurts.

[SECTION 2 — THE MYTHOLOGY: WHY IT’S ALWAYS BEEN THIS WAY]
This path is not new.
Every myth, every tradition, every sacred story has told it the same way.

In Sumerian myth, Inanna, Queen of Heaven, descends into the underworld.
And this wasn’t a quick trip.
She passed through seven gates—
and at each one, she was forced to give something up:
Her crown. Her robes. Her jewels. Her weapons.
Her identity, her image, her status, her protection.

Stripped of everything she thought made her powerful—
until she stood naked before the underworld queen.
Then she was judged. Killed.
Hung on a hook.
Left to rot in the dark.
And only then—only after death—was she resurrected.
But not as the queen she was.
As something more.

She comes back whole. Integrated. Initiated.
She claims dominion over both realms—the heavens and the underworld.
She doesn’t just return—she returns with knowledge, with wisdom, with divine law.
She now holds both light and dark. She is not who she was. She is who she became.

That story’s thousands of years old.
And it’s not an outlier. It’s a blueprint.
You’ll find the same descent and rebirth mirrored across every culture, every age:

• In Greek mystery rites, initiates entered caves meant to symbolize the womb and the tomb—to symbolically die, so they could be reborn into higher wisdom.
• In Hindu cosmology, Shiva destroys the illusion of form before Kali rebuilds truth from the ashes.
• In Buddhist tradition, enlightenment doesn’t come from rising above suffering—it comes from sitting in it, dissolving the ego until nothing remains.
• Even our historical shifts carry this blueprint:
  • The fall of Constantinople → rise of global trade and intellectual freedom
  • The Plague → revolutions in medicine, labor, and philosophy

Death. Descent. Rebirth.
Over and over and over again.

Because that’s the pattern.
And it’s not just metaphorical.
It’s neurological:

• When your Default Mode Network collapses, your ego dissolves.
• Your sense of self rewires.
• Your brain doesn’t know how to orient.
• Your nervous system panics.
• You feel disoriented, frozen, numb.

Your body starts treating the awakening like a threat—because to the old self, it is.

This is what people call the dark night of the soul—
but that doesn’t even begin to describe it.

It’s not poetic when you’re in it.
Because it’s not just changing what you do—it’s killing who you thought you were.

[SECTION 3 — THE SYSTEM]
This is a system. It’s not random. It’s by design.

Here’s how it actually works:

📍 STAGE 1 — THE FRACTURE
Something feels off. You don’t know what it is yet. You just know something doesn’t fit. (This is the whisper.)

📍 STAGE 2 — THE COLLAPSE
Everything starts to fall apart. Your identity starts to unravel. You start losing what you once held onto. (This is the cracking.)

📍 STAGE 3 — THE VOID
You feel lost. Numb. Nothing makes sense. You’re not who you were, but not who you’re becoming either. (This is the death.)

📍 STAGE 4 — THE REBUILDING
You start craving truth. Realignment. Your values shift. You begin again—slowly, honestly. (This is the rebirth.)

📍 STAGE 5 — THE INTEGRATION
You return to life, but it’s different now. You see things others don’t. You move from truth, not conditioning. (This is the becoming.)

This is how it works.
It’s never been about “fixing” yourself.
There’s nothing wrong with you.

It’s about remembering who you are underneath all the survival noise.

Once you’ve burned it all down and started again, you begin to realize: This isn’t just what happens to you.
This is something you can use.

You can walk this map with intention.
You can apply this same system—again and again—every time you step into a new level of power.

And that’s where manifestation comes in. Because once you’ve walked through death,
You finally know how to create.

[SECTION 4 — AWAKENING + MANIFESTATION]
I used to think they were separate.
Awakening was spiritual.
Manifestation was tactical.

But they’re not separate at all.

Because you can’t manifest from a false self. You can say the affirmations. Visualize the vision board version of you. But if your identity is still wired for survival— You’ll just recreate that.

You can’t create the life you want from a version of you that was built to survive—not to expand.

Your brain literally filters reality based on identity.
It’s called the Reticular Activating System.
Your identity becomes your perception.

So if you’re still operating from the old you?
You’ll only see what confirms that.

Awakening is the reboot.
It clears the filter.
It dissolves the false identity so the real one—the aligned one—can take the lead.

So when people say:

“You just need to raise your frequency” or “Step into the version of you who already has it”?
That doesn’t happen without the death first.

It doesn’t happen without awakening.

And once you are awake—
once you’ve cleared the old programs, seen the truth, and burned the lies?

Then manifestation is a system.
A mathematical equation.

If you know where you are, and you follow the steps?
You will leap.
You will shift.
You will manifest from truth.
Every. Single. Time.

That’s what makes it work. It’s not magic.
It’s not luck.
It’s precision.
It’s identity.
It’s power.

[SECTION 5 — THE COSMIC CONTEXT]
Awakening isn’t just happening to you. It’s happening to everyone.

I know—when you’re in it, it feels like no one gets it. Like you’re losing your mind in a world full of people who still believe the illusion.

And yes—you do have to go through it alone. Because only you can do your awakening. No one else has your answers. No one else can walk your path.

But when you come out on the other side? You realize—you were never actually alone.

Because this path? It’s universal.
It’s collective.
And beyond that? It’s cosmic.

The entire universe is designed for awakening. Every planet. Every species. Every system is coded to ascend.
Everything is moving toward the One—toward union, toward light, toward evolution.

Earth is not separate. We are part of that system.
And right now? We are in an ascension window.

That means things are moving fast.
Which means the collapse is happening fast.
Which means the awakening is available now.

So if your life feels like it’s crumbling—
if everything that used to make sense is falling apart—
that’s not failure.
That’s alignment.

Because the false world is dying.
The old system is unraveling.
The planet is shedding.

And your body, your soul, your nervous system is responding to that.

“The awakened heart is the lamp of the universe; don’t extinguish it with the winds of thought.” — Hafez

That’s what this is. Not just collapse. Not just chaos. But the return to your awakened heart.

In mystical Christianity, humanity was seen as the priest of creation— meant to consecrate and uplift the material world back to God.

“God became man so that man may become God.”

Your awakening isn’t just for you. It’s a sacred offering.

Your work, your embodiment, your return to truth—
it shifts the entire field.
The entire planet.

You are not behind.
You’re on time.

The only question is: Will you fight the descent?
Or will you let it transform you?

[FINAL CLOSE]
So what is awakening?
It’s not a glow-up. It’s not clarity. It’s not alignment.

It’s death.
It’s descent.
It’s the hardest thing you’ll ever do.

But it’s also real.
It’s ancient.
It’s universal.

And it always leads somewhere.

You don’t have to understand all of it right now.
You just have to know that you’re not broken.
You’re becoming.

And yeah, it fucking sucks sometimes.
But it’s worth it.

Because what comes after?
Is you.
The real you.
The one that’s been waiting underneath it all.

And that version of you?
They create from truth.

And truth?
Manifests. Fucking. Fast.

You don’t find yourself.
You remember.

And now that you know the map—
We can finally start walking it.

Because this is just the beginning.